be friendly

I’ve always prided myself on writing heartfelt letters and cards to loved ones on special occasions. It’s one of my strengths I guess. Since I’ve been practicing this whole be kind to myself and treating myself like I do my best friends, I decided to write a sweet letter to myself.

Dear KK,

I can’t believe we’ve been friends for 30 years now! I know we’ve had our ups and downs and I haven’t always treated you kindly. I’ve been doing a lot of work lately and I think I’m getting better at being able to have compassion for you and love you unconditionally. I won’t always be the perfect friend, but you should know that my intentions are to be gentle, kind, supportive, encouraging, affirming, and nurturing to you. I also think I’m one of the best people in your life to call you out on your shit too. But I want to do that in a more light hearted, supportive way.

I’m not sure if you see how much people love you and want to be around you, in fact, I know you don’t. You’re such a loving and reliable friend. You often drop everything to help the ones you love, sometimes even giving more than you have to give. But you’re getting better at setting your boundaries and making sure you fill your own cup too.

I wish you knew how beautiful you are. I know you spend more time than you’d like, thinking that others are more attractive, intelligent, spiritual, talented or successful than you. I know you’re working on that though and I want to help you by reminding you that you are all of those things too.

I know you worry about your appearance (as do most people) but I wish you could see how others see you. You’ve told me that sometimes you look in the mirror and you’re like “daaaamn I’m looking sexy right now” and I wish you more days like that. Because that’s how so many see you and it’s sad that your opinion of yourself is so incongruent with how the people in your life see you. You know how you look back at old pictures and see how great you looked but remember that you felt horrible about yourself at the time. Don’t continue that viscous cycle. It’s a waste of energy.

More than physically, you are truly a beautiful person down to your core. You care about others even when you don’t know them. You understand what people need and you can have compassion for people that most people can’t. You work so hard at being a better person and partner. Your heart is so pure. You just want to be a good person and to be loved. I see that and I hope you do too.

Try not envy others’, it just takes away precious energy and love that you could be focusing on yourself and then spreading outwards. Practice gratitude for all the amazing people and things in your life. You have ben loved by incredible people in past relationships. Your partner is one of the most amazing human beings on this earth and guess what? He loves YOU and is choosing to be with you. So what does that say about you?

I know we will be friends for many years to come and I’m really looking forward to it. I can’t wait to see how you continue to grow and evolve. I love you so much and I’m so glad you’re in my life.

Cheers to the dirty 30!