In my experience, it can be exhausting to sift through all the bullshit on the web about polyamory and find some meaningful information. As I incorporate this relationship model into my life, I’ve realized I need to read I about how others are doing it, feel that I’m not alone, and hear that others have had the same struggles as me. Hopefully this little summary of websites can help speed up the process for others. If anyone knows of some better ones that I don’t mention please post into the comments!
Websites for meeting people
Okc is by far my favorite that I’ve found so far. First of all it’s totally free but nevermind that it’s my favorite for other reasons. I might be biased because this is the website I met my amazing lover on but I’ve heard from others that it has worked for them too. It gives you a chance to really explain yourself and it’s very user friendly. It also has an infinite amount of questions that you (you can choose to answer as many as you want) are then matched up with people on. We have met the most quality people both separately and as a couple on this website. Like any dating website there are definitely creepers that send the typical “DTF?” messages but for the most part it’s good people.
I haven’t used this website but it’s the first one that pops up when searching for websites about polyamory. Upon checking it out, I quickly found that it’s not as user friendly as I would prefer and it appears that there is a subscription fee if you want to meet people but there does seem to be some redeeming qualities too. I like that it has websites for local groups and lots of articles. I know it costs money to keep a website running but I think I’ll just look at their free articles and save my money for all the dates I’m going on from Okc.
This is a neat site where you can find people with shared interests (in way more areas than just polyamory) and it is also free. You just search for topics you’re interested in near your zip code, join the group and RSVP to the next event. I’ve met some great people off this site and we actually started our own poly group in our area. It’s floundering but has potential you can read all about that experience in another post!
Swing Lifestyles (SLS) is where swingers go to meet people. It definitely has a more sexual feel to it and seems like it’s people just looking to fuck. I do believe there must be plenty of people on there looking for more than just sex-like say friendship but mostly it’s just sex. Nothing wrong with that if that’s what you’re looking for. I started a profile as a single female and I was bombarded by single men 40 years older than me. My partner and I haven’t made a couple’s profile because we have been busy enough meeting people and enjoying each other.
In contrast to SLS, Lifestyle Lounge (LL) is the “classier” version of people meeting for sexual encounters. My partner and I went to our first “swinger party” on New Years Eve and the couple running the show “invited” us to LL which apparently gets you 2 more weeks of free searching. It’s very pricey but it does seem to be a more educated, healthy, deeper bunch of people in my humble opinion.
If you’re not ready to start meeting people and/or just want learn more, these are the places to go:
I’m so excited to spend more time exploring this site. First of all, it’s very visually appealing and user friendly. They obviously have good programmers and people managing the site. They have advice, podcasts, articles about common topics, and a group directory. I just added the group that my partner and I just started for young poly people in Tucson, AZ. (If you fit that description please join!)
I don’t know why it annoys me so much when websites aren’t user friendly and/or things are overlapping and it looks unorganized but it really does! I think this website has a ton of good info and potential but I don’t feel like spending much time digging through it. I like that it’s a nonprofit and it has links to other websites and events like upcoming conferences.
I’m a huge fan of Tristan Taormino maybe because I kinda want to be her one day but more likely because her book Opening Up has been like my bible as I start on this journey of relating openly to people. I love how she writes and the website has tons of articles and musings about common challenges and interesting things to think about with regards to the poly lifestyle.
I found out about Dr. Deborah Taj from her articles on www.psychologytoday.com. She has a beautiful website with fabulous articles on conscious relating, polyamory, tantric practices, and sexual healing. I particularly like “Using Jealousy as a Path to Unconditional Love”.
This is Franklin Veaux’s new website (used to be www.xeromag.com) and I just love it. I’ve read almost every post and they are witty and humorous yet right on point. I dig the how-to guides; they’re perfect for newbies like us. I also especially like his articles on jealousy and how to deal with it. I’ve used his advice in my relationship already.
This website has a plethora of interesting conversations and talks that are available on itunes. I’ve been streaming them onto my phone and listening to them during my hour long commute. Very educational and informational.
TONS of stuff! I haven’t checked it out yet but I’m looking forward to it. They also list a few other podcasts that they love and I want to eventually look at those too. This is like too much! A whole new world to explore!!
A podcast with Dr. Christopher Ryan (author of Sex at Dawn). I havent’ checked it out yet but I’m fascinated by animal behavior, evolutionary explanations for our sexuality, science and psychology so I’m sure I’ll eat it all up.
I’m reading “Opening Up” by Tristan Taormino, “Sex at Dawn” by Christopher Ryan and “The Ethical Slut” by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy I will do a review in the future about those.
Did I miss any? Do tell!